Geeks: Nobody Else Cares

I seem to have been born equipped with a “nerdar”. Like a radar but for detecting nerds.

You see, whenever I am out and about with my wife, I seem to pick up snatches of conversation between geeks that my wife will miss. I then relay the conversations to my wife who confirms the nerd-convo-status.

Superman would have a hard time competing with my bat-like ability to pick up the phrases “Star Wars”, “D10″, “Arnold Rimmer” or “Vic-20″. Unfortunately I haven’t yet been able to build on this remarkable ability to earn fame and fortune.

We were at the mall the other day when I heard the phrase “Microsoft Yahoo! takeover”. Expecting to see two geeks debating the issue, instead I saw one guy red in the face trying to explain to his yawning girl friend (associate of the female persuasion, not sure of their relationship status. This was a geek after all). She wasn’t really picking up on the key points of his argument. Evidence being he kept re-iterating them in the hope that repetition would magically bring understanding.

I shook my head sadly. My wife asked what the problem was. Let me share with you what I told my wife.

It saddens me that geeks never learn. We try to educate the world only to be slapped down. Why is it geeks (and I include myself) feel the need to explain to the rest of humanity the issues that only matter to us?

For normal people it wouldn’t matter one iota if Yahoo! was owned by Microsoft, Google or News Corp. Most of them think that Google = The Interweb.

The same with the iPhone. I have seen a few times now a geek trying to “show off” his treasured device only for the wow-factor to be somehow missing. Here is a clue; the iPhone does not impress non-geeks.

“Why would I want such a big phone? My phone is much smaller - look!”.
“Does it come in any other color?”
“Uh-huh. And I would want something that does that … because? …”
“I don’t want my Blackberry, it is annoying, why on earth would I want my work to know I have something that does all that?”

You are not going to be able to persuade anyone else because non-geeks are wired differently to ourselves. It’s just how things are.

Don’t get me started on “Who would win between Godzilla and Darth Vader in a fight” (the answer is Darth Vader, clearly).

Geeks, nobody else is interested. Let’s keep this stuff to ourselves, eh?

How to tell if you are stuck in the 90s - Test Yourself

Here are the top five tests that will help you determine if you are stuck in the 90s

The Music test. If you can hum a tune or (god forbid) sing a line from the works of the BackStreet Boys, Boyz II Men or the Spice Girls, you are soooo 90s. If you buy CDs instead of iTuning or SoulSeeking - 90s!

The Politics test. You are stuck in the 90s if you think that the worst president ever is George Bush (senior).

The Action/Adventure Movie test. If Pulp Fiction is one of your favorite movies and you have a hidden (but strong) affection for Mr Van Damme and Professor Steven Seagal then there is a 95% chance that you are a guy that’s stuck in the 90s.

The TV test. If you are still watching Melrose Place or Beverly Hills 90210 then it is almost certain that you are stuck in the 90s, girlfriend.

The Newspaper test. If you think that Blog is the name of a B-Movie and that “real people” get their news from the newspaper - you are stuck in the 90s.

So…are you stuck in the 90s?

This has been a break from our scheduled programming.

I also need a nap

Just follow the link.

If you have kids, you’ll understand.

How typing may lead to madness (and how to avoid it)

Warning: shameless self-promotion ahead

The Psychology of Typing

Sometimes, there is no way around it. You just have to sit down and spend an hour—or two, or three—typing. It’s boring and often infuriating. Boredom, as Wikipedia tells us, leads to anxiety. And mixing anger with anxiety can lead to—madness!

And so, at Cogniview, we have decided to create a new product line that will help lessen anger and anxiety in the world. Products that dramatically reduce the amount of typing in your life. The new Typing Free™ product line.

A typing-free world

PDF2XL is our primary and best-selling product. Several thousands of clients are already using it and IMO it’s the best PDF to Excel conversion tool in the universe (I’ll admit I am a bit biased).

So if you want to avoid typing data from PDF documents to Excel, give PDF2XL a try.

PDF2XL OCR is a new product. It combines OCR technology from IRIS Software with PDF2XL’s data extraction interface.

I am proudest of two features in PDF2XL OCR:

The data-validation module: Every OCR engine has recognition errors, but one thing that most OCR tools lack is a way to efficiently browse through the suspected words and correct recognition errors. Our data validation module displays the suspected word and the image of the actual word from the document side by side (with a huge zoom). This helps you catch a problem in a fraction of a second, because your eyes see the difference and you don’t actually have to read.
The numerical column: An OCR engine works about a million times better if you tell it that it is trying to identify a number (I’ll expand on that if anyone is interested). When you define a column as numeric in PDF2XL OCR, it asks you whether you want to try to improve results by rerunning the OCR only on that column!

If you need to convert data from scanned documents to Excel, give PDF2XL OCR a try.

PDF2XL Enterprise is really a magical tool. It combines a print driver with an extraction tool. You can print whatever you want to it and then extract the data to Excel. It also includes all the functionality of PDF2XL and PDF2XL OCR.

Check it out. It’s really cool!

The secret, sure-fire way to avoid madness, hand cramps and blindness

Buy one of our products. They are good for your health!

A web 2.0 Song

Guy Ruvio is a dear friend of mine, which I have been trying to persuade to blog since I learned about blogging. Imagine my horror when I found out he started blogging in Hebrew. How will the English speaking world read his brilliant stuff? And then it dawned on me. I can steal his work in the guise of “translation” and get all the credit.

So without further Ado…

A web 2.0 song

Web 2

Do you get the feeling that we will make do?

Is it really over?

Have you noticed all the sites talking about web 3.0?

——–

The Web

In numbers

It feels good to count

It’s a primal need

But everybody keeps ignoring the number 1

Do you see companies saying – we are the solution to web 1.0?

communication 1.0?

It’s just to remind

I left the one behind

——–

I want a domain

Or a blog

Or a search engine,

To call my own

To hold in the night

——–

Alone?

Together?

A sense of community?

Cooped up at home?

In any case, the psychologists will have more work

——–

Web 2.0

Is it a technology?

A Trend?

A Buzz?

A Spin?

Revolution?

Revolution!

——–

I opened a blog

A diary of my own

I am no longer anonymous

Who will read it?

What does it matter?

As long as we push adsense into it

——–

Google

Will pass a billion

Won’t make it

Changed the world

Talented people

I want too

——–

Google

did it

So why don’t we buy

Booble

Doodle

Xooxle

It’s the domain that counts

They’ve all been lent?

Did you stop to think about content?

——–

Mashups

A picture on a picture

A site on a site

A service on a service

Playing with Lego

Does anyone build with bricks anymore?

——–

Software as a service?

Sounds good to me

I get this need to kick it

When the blue screen comes on

Getting a service from the blue?

I’m bought.

——–

Google Docs

Save it all at Google’s

Or on my Computer?

But they know everything about me

Not using Google!

Oh, What the hell,

Google it is,

Now I can work from anywhere

Damn what are these commercials?

How do they know I love Taami**

Enough

Going to the Beach

What does it say there on the billboard?

——–

Programming

I Program

I Model

I Design

I Photoshup

Like Mashup

10 Photoshuppers needed for a successful startup

——–

VCs

Web 2.0

Come on…

At least try to disguise the herd affect

I’ll tell you a secret

Where the herd is, the good grass is already gone

And there is only dead weed

I actually saw a couple of good companies

Where?

At TechCrunch

Or one of its

Mashups

——–

In 98 we built

Hosting providers

In 99 we built

ASP

In 2001 we blow up

In 2005 we woke up

And built

Software as a service

Software on demand

Multi Tenant applications

Hold it!

What?

IS everything the same?

What is changed?

Kids, help me find the difference

——–

Web 2.0

I am there too

I don’t understand what it is

But there’s something there

If everybody’s going there, there must be something (there)

It has to be

If Vardi could at 99

Why can’t I do it now?

——–

Web 2.0

Experts

Isn’t it a contradiction?

——–

A collaboration plant

I am building a collaboration plant

Anyone can water it

And leave a comment

Or a talkback

Their messanger number

Maybe a girl will stop by as well

That would be great

——–

{Censored}

——–

{Censored}

——–

Talkback

I will leave a comment

I have stuff to say

And the world will hear

Let the people know

I am First!

Damn, who left the comment before me?

——–

Web 2.0

In war time

The one book I don’t want to write!

——–

Big Companies

Small Companies

Medium

And Microscopic

Even for me

There is a place

In the Web 2.0

——–

What will be the next big thing?

Electronic Ink

Implanted Cellular phones

A Bionic Shoe

Or plug-ins?

To the brain

Well come on guys, that’s very easy

Web 3.0

Electronic Ink

Implanted Cellular phones

A Bionic Shoe

Or plug-ins?

To the brain

I Guarantee It.

**Taami is a popular low quality chocolate bar in Israel

A South Park Me

To counter the previous post which was somewhat serious and for those of you who were wondering how I look like. Here is how I would look like if I were a South Park character…

You can also create your south park self here.

Funny Excel Comics

I think this is hilarious. I actually worked with the people in this comics.

Another silly spreadsheet movie

If you liked the previous spreadsheet movies post, you’ll like this new movie from Smartsheet.

The World’s Funniest Spreadsheet Movies

For those of you who think that spreadsheets are boring and that spreadsheet professionals are sad people who cry themselves to sleep, I give you the world’s funniest spreadsheet movies.

1. Watch out, heroin addicts, here comes the spreadsheet . . .

2. We took a poll on which of the characters in this movie people sympathize with (see the surprising results after the movie) . . .

Although this is obviously a Mac vs. Microsoft commercial, most of the men who watched the commercial sympathized with the Microsoft dude. The really surprising result came from the ladies. They liked the Mac guy.

3. This woman found a strange outlet for her obsessive-compulsive disorder . . .

4. I (and the rest of the guys in the office) thought the Apple dude was really annoying in this commercial . . .

Apparently, so did the guys who wrote this comic.

5. Spreadsheets are barely mentioned in this movie, but it’s way cool!

Now, don’t you wish you were a spreadsheet dude?

Geeks: Nobody Else Cares

How to tell if you are stuck in the 90s - Test Yourself

I also need a nap

How typing may lead to madness (and how to avoid it)

The Psychology of Typing

A typing-free world

The secret, sure-fire way to avoid madness, hand cramps and blindness

A web 2.0 Song

A web 2.0 song

A South Park Me

Funny Excel Comics

Another silly spreadsheet movie

The World’s Funniest Spreadsheet Movies

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